Mind Your Manners
Posted on October 2, 2008
Airplane Etiquette
By: Johnny Jet
John E. DiScala (a.k.a. Johnny Jet) travels over 150,000 miles and visits over 20 countries each year. He and his website JohnnyJet.com have been featured over 1,000 times in major publications. Every week, Johnny hosts a “travel website of the week” for several radio stations around the country and he writes weekly for Frommers.com.
As I write this, I’m flying over Detroit on my way to New York from Los Angeles. I’ve decided to write about airplane etiquette because more than a few things have irked me on this four and a half hour flight. For starters, I’m sitting in the first row of economy and the pilot just got on the PA and requested everyone to take their seats and put their seatbelts on, including the flight attendants. So you know we’re about to go through some rough air. Well, what do you know? Just a minute later, a line for the bathroom, which is right in front of me, forms. It’s longer now than it has been the whole flight. What the heck?! This doesn’t make any sense and a flight attendant just got on the PA to reiterate the instructions. But passengers still aren’t listening.
Listen up, people! I dated a flight attendant for four years and I believe I know what bothers them most. Not listening to crew instructions has to be their number one pet peeve; it’s also a felony offense. As the announcement stated, the seat belt sign isn’t on just for your safety, but for the safety of others around you. If one of those people had landed on me when the plane hit an air pocket, you know I would have given them an extra elbow, just to knock some sense into them.
Turn down The Music
Another annoyance on this flight: excessive headphone noise. Yes, we’ve all experienced it — on the subway, on the bus and now on the plane. Everyone in the world seems to have an iPod and some just don’t have a clue how much noise the earbuds emit. I’m seated in 19A and the dude in 19F, six seats and an aisle away, has his music so loud that I can hear every beat. Unfortunately, he’s listening to heavy metal, which I don’t care for so it’s really annoying and, I might add, rude. If he wasn’t three times my size and didn’t have that gangbanger tattoo on his elbow and cheek, I would just get up and slap him. But instead, I gave him the ol’ stink eye and it looks like we now have a date to rumble when we land. Be aware, will you?
Easy Does It
It really amazes me how much travelers lack common courtesy these days. If it’s a short flight (three hours or less), I rarely ever recline my seat because space is already limited. The only time I do lean back is when the person in front of me reclines. Then, before I recline, I turn around and give a heads up to the person behind me, letting them know that I’m about to invade their personal space. As a frequent laptop user, I appreciate when the person in front of me allows me the time to adjust my laptop so my computer screen doesn’t get wedged and break. TIP: Another tip regarding laptops is to always close them when drinks are being served because spills happen.
Be Friendly
Other notables: When you take your seat for the first time, smile and say hello to your seatmate. If the person beside you is chatty and you don’t want to be, then immediately put your headphones on, even if you don’t want to listen to music. This indicates that you aren’t interested in idle chitchat and they’ll get the message. If they don’t, just explain that you’ve had a long day and you want to get some sleep, catch up on some TV, finish your book club book or whatever excuse suits you.
Don’t Pull Hair
When getting up to use the loo, don’t push or grab the seat in front of you in such a way that you wake the person seated in it or worse, pull on their hair. I barely even have any hair and this has happened to me many times! It not only startles me but makes me want to pay the guy in 19F to, well you get the idea… Again, just be aware!
Middle Seat
We all know the most unpopular seats on the plane are the middle seats. And in my experience, it’s rarely filled by a solo female traveler who is pretty, or a passenger who is in good shape with pleasant body odor. When the plane is full, which is typically the case these days, and some poor soul gets stuck in the middle seat, it’s common knowledge that they get both armrests. So don’t try to elbow them for space … even if they are smelly.
Don’t Spread Germs
If you need to cough or sneeze, cover your mouth! The flying tube is already infested with germs from the re-circulated air and we don’t need any more nasties flying around. Just cover your mouth or better yet, wear a mask like the Japanese do when they’re sick.
Wear Shoes to The Bathroom
I’m a male and I realize how messy we men can be when using the loo. Maybe if the aircraft toilets had a bulls-eye, we would aim better. If you haven’t noticed it by about 20 minutes into the flight, the bathroom floor is already in bad state. Personally, I think airplanes should have male and female bathrooms not only because then we wouldn’t have to wait so long in line, but also to be more considerate to women because they don’t miss. For the men out there with bad aim … tidy up before leaving and always be sure the bathroom doors are closed behind you!
No McDonalds
Yes, the airlines are all cutting back and some don’t even offer food on board (jetBlue is one of them). If you are going to bring food on the plane, which I suggest you do, try not to bring anything hot or smelly like McDonald’s. Though it smells good in the airport, it won’t when you are 37,000 feet up.
Cell Phones
Turn your cell phone off when you’re told to. We hear you sneaking your last minute calls while taxiing down the runway. More importantly, don’t speak so loudly that everyone can hear you. My dad is almost deaf and I can still talk to him without letting the passenger next to me hear what I’m saying. If this annoys you, too, a solution is to bring earplugs and/or noise canceling headsets.
Everything above should be common sense but you’d be surprised … it’s not. So, here’s a list of other common courtesies gone bad.
Boarding
When you come cruising down the aisle to take your seat, try not to take seated passengers out with your swinging backpack or purse. Also, how difficult is it to put your bags in the overhead compartments correctly and quickly? The moment you find your seat, throw whatever you need (iPod, newspaper, food) on your seat and then put your bag up wheels first and sit down. Don’t decide when you get to your seat to go hunting for your glasses, pen or magazine once you’ve stowed your luggage up above, because then you’re just blocking the aisle. Have everything ready when you’re in the gate area.
Miscellaneous
Snoring also bothers many passengers but that’s a tough one to deal with it. Earplugs do the trick for me but if it’s really too loud, I rip a string off my baggage tag and tickle the person’s neck so they wake up. Of course, I only do this while no one else is looking. Window shade: If it’s a night flight, lower the window shade so when the sun comes up in the middle of the flight no one is disturbed; I bring eye shades to prevent this. And finally: For that kicking kid sitting behind you … if the parent doesn’t get the stink eye, try to make friends with him by bribing him. Five dollars often does the trick. But I know you’d rather give him and his parents a swift kick in the !!!
Finally, in today’s flying environment, no one is more stressed out than the flight attendants and gate agents. Their pay and their benefits have been cut and they often take the heat from passengers, like it’s their fault. I see so many passengers taking their problems out on these people. Instead, be very kind to them and the gate agents. I almost always bring them a box of chocolates and a smile. They are always appreciative and will make my flight as pleasurable as can be. Besides, I might need them to help me take out the gym monkey in 19F.
Happy Travels!
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Johnny Jet – I was laughing out loud and certainly appreciative of your comments. I write a article for a local newspaper bi-weekly and was working on an article with similar recommendations, you have provided a few extra suggestions that I will include. WE need to be heard about plane etiquette!
Thanks, Lynda
I could not agree with you more!!! As a frequent traveler myself, I feel your pain. I have flown the Atlanta/Jo’burg 20 hr marathon flight several times and connected there to several diiferent African countries. I have also traveled Europe extensively. I have seen many of the same situations that you have. I have one thing to add though. To all American travelers out there, when in a foreign country please try and take all appropriate steps to not sound like the dumbest American alive. I have heard so many death-defying stories of how someone almost got taken out by a weary warthog, while they were sitting in the safety of a safari truck. And, how they just fit in so perfectly with the locals at the market place, but almost lost their wallet to a pick-pocket. First of all, you did not fit in with the locals. They were nice to you so you would buy something from them. These are people that have grown up in a third world country and have dealt with more famine and strife before 6:00a.m. than you will in your entire life. Also, you are at a tourist market in a third world country, or any country for that matter, there will be pick-pockets there. Prepare for it and deal with. Don’t go whining to someone because you didn’t have enough common sense to handle yourself. Please try to show our great country in a good light to the rest of the world. If you don’t have something intelligent to say then just don’t say anything. Thank you!!
Thanks so much – I wish everyone did this. Great comments! (And, it brings me up short on lapses of my own).
One of my pet peeves about fellow airplane passengers is the stowage of luggage in the overhead bins. Many airlines board the back rows first. Unfortunately, flight attendants usually do not monitor the placement of luggage in the overhead bins, so some folks just throw theirs in the first empty one they come to. This means that the people boarding last find the bins above their seats already full. Now, this is a real problem, as putting your luggage behind you 20 rows means that you will be the very last person off the aircraft, as you will have to wait for everybody to exit before you can walk back to your luggage. Not to mention that both you and the inconsiderate person who put their luggage 20 rows in front of their seat will not be able to keep an eye on your belongings. Everyone should WANT to stow their luggage in the bin over their own seat for this reason, alone–not to mention being courteous to others.
Lots of great tips here — thanks!
Another thing to add to the list of Airplane Etiquette is this:
Please keep your shoes on.
On my last flight the guy in the middle seat took his tennis shoes off at the beginning of the flight. I had to ask him to please put his shoes back on. I did not care to smell his feet for 2 hours or 2 minutes for that matter.
EASY DOES IT:Seat backs coming back are a bother and a threat. Why would the air plane builders make the person in 17 comfortable at risk of discomfor of the person in 18 uncomfortable? I don’t get it!
DON’T SPREAD GERMS & MISCL/EYE SHADES: I carry a couple bandanas. Multi function devices!
Be nice to flight attendants! I once got upgraded to First Class just for a friendly wink, a smile, and some chocolate. (My one and only experience with First Class.)
You hit the nail on the head, squarely, twice. The turkey with the pack or bag that smacks each of us on their way past. some times they are good enouth to get the pax on each side of the isle at the same time….What a JOY.
The other jolly traveler is the pax in row 27 that puts his bag over row 6 so he doesn’t have to pull it down the isle. We all know overhead space is a premium so guess where the back up is while 6 looking for the allocated overhead space…..But then you can’t beat the views of the Grand Canyon on a x-country.
If the FAA ever allows passengers to use cellphones during flights, I won’t fly commercial anymore. What could be more annoying than to be forced to listen to numerous one-sided conversations around you from New York to LA or from DFW to London. Even the most pricey headphones won’t keep out the din.
Bravo! Unfortunately, those who commit these offenses won’t read this or worse if they do won’t recognize themselves for the most part as they are too self absorbed. Thank you. Eileen
Unfortunately you are preaching to the choir. The people who need to read this aren’t the ones who are.
what great advice! I am a tour operator and am going to print this off and give to my clients although I am SURE that not of them would be that rude!
My pet peeve is people bringing on too big of a carry-on, along with a laptop and a purse. It should be limited to ONE item, no exceptions, and if it is a carry-on size suitcase, the thickness of it needs to be monitored. Most are too full to go easily in the overhead bins. Blind eyes are turned to the amount of carry ons.
OH-MY-GOSH!!!! I think I love you!!! I am a flight attendant and could NOT have written a more appropriate letter on Airplane Etiquette myself. In spite of the pay cuts and general distress, I still love my job and most of the people I work with and work for. I appreciate letters like yours that help me make our customers’ experience a nicer one by thinking of others. I had foolishly allowed my MEDJET expire but your “Mind Your Manners” article has put me in such a good mood that I am renewing immediately! Obviously, you’re a very bright Precious Medal (Silver, Gold or Platinum Frequent Flyer). Hope you don’t mind if I send your article to everyone that I know! Thanks again.
Thanks Johnny for the Mind you’re manners. I agree with everything you mentioned including the brat behind you kicking the *** out of you’re backrest. People are so **** inconsiderate these days it makes you want to stay home. Vacations are for getting UNSTRESSED I thought not the case while flying.The long trips to Europe are the worst!!!
I know you’ve probably wasted the ink in you’re pen for the most part, but Thanks for letting us know you feel the same frustrations the rest (most) of us do also.
Why is it that the people that have been seated in the exit row always have to put their seat back? Do they not already have enough extra space?
Good stuff. But the issue is how to make it happen. How about dispensing with the safety info which is meaningless (how to buckle your seat buckle) or ignored and giving some manners tips at the beginning of each flight!
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Jean-Marc F. Blanchard